Distinguishing features: More precious metals in his mouth than in a Norilsk mineshaft. Balding, pouch-bellied, shirt unbuttoned to reveal chest-wig.
Habitat: Side streets throughout Moscow.
Danger if Provoked: Low to moderate. Arbusus Azerbaijanus does not want to attract predators, so while migrating north in Moscow, he prefers to quietly jilt his customers.
Mortal Weaknesses: Tall Slavic girls (see :"Jewish Businessman"). Comments: Evolved from same family tree as the Caucasian Taxi Driver and Caucasian Pimp, Arbusus Azerbaijanus is a much gentler species who has developed a symbiotic relationship with militsius corruptus which allows him to survive predators from the xenophobius russkius species.
Cashilokius Nongayicus
Male Purse Holder
Distinguishing features: Authentic Gucci gear from Cherkizovsky Rynok, former sportsmen, purse.
Habitat: Exchange booths, near expensive cars that may or may not belong to them, notary publics.
Danger if Provoked: High. Nobody can be completely sure what he keeps in the purse, but it probably ain't tampoons.
Mortal Weaknesses: Supermarkets that make you check your bags.
Comments: The Cashilokius Nongayicus has defied predictions of extinction and continues to thrive throughout Moscow and the regions. With all his documents stored conveniently in his purse, he is able conduct biznes at a moment's notice.
Pigmenteria Ubiquita
Middle-Aged Intellegentsia
Distinguishing features: Over 45, thick formless figure (if large mammaries don't count), big hair set in a high bun, heavy face paint, still dressed in slightly shabby late-Perestroika chic, abundance of ornate fake jewelry.
Danger if Provoked: High. If the Pigmentaria Ubiquita believes that you are trying to cut in the line for free Sovietskoye Shampanskoe she will make a cutting remark couched in Aesopian language. If you miss the reference, she will give you a Medusa stare.
Mortal Weaknesses: Having her name mentioned during a long toast given by a once semi-famous Soviet estrada star.
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